Hello friends! I can't believe we are here to the final day of 2017. And here I am writing my final post of the year to share with y'all. What a year it has been! It seems to have been a crazy whirlwind of emotions. Today as we say goodbye to 2017 and prepare to welcome in 2018, I only see it fitting to re-cap my year a bit, as I have done the past two years.
I began contemplating what I was going to say in this post. I started reflecting on 2017 and thinking about what I overcame, what I accomplished, and so on. In all honestly, I felt as if there is nothing too exciting to report. Basically, I kept on keeping on...with my studies for my program, with running my blog and of course being a mama was my main focus. Don't get me wrong, there were many ups and downs, heartaches, frustrations, celebrations, so many fun moments and so much more throughout the year, but the overall picture didn't seem to give much of a report. I feel as if my life pretty much hit a standstill.
Y'all know that my blog is overall my place to share my love for fashion. But y'all also may know that my relationship with my Savior is what keeps me going on a daily basis. I always want to be up front with those who follow along on this journey with me, and I truly believe that sharing my life behind the veil of simply what I love to wear is very important. I want to be up front with y'all and connect with y'all, because in all honesty, I have built some of the best relationships through running my little space on the internet. I love hearing from y'all whether it's through my blog or my social channels. I feel it is so important to let y'all know what's going on in my life because, well, how am I to connect if I don't share? My life is far from perfect, and that is something I feel is necessary to make clear through sharing my struggles, what else is going on in my life and most importantly how the Lord has carried me through. I've always said, if I can touch just one person's life, all of the effort put forth is completely worth it to me.
With all of that being said, I have to say that this year I have felt probably the most unorganized that I have ever felt in my entire life. I tried to keep everything going in the most organized manner as I possibly could, but it felt as if I was accomplishing things "just in time." I cut out sleep like I never have before this year, I continuously questioned if I would be able to make it through each semester of school, especially this last one (taking on six classes at once was a bit overwhelming). I constantly questioned if I was doing the right thing, making the right decisions, and so much more. Overall, I felt overwhelmed, extremely overwhelmed. I felt like even though I gave everything my best shot, it never was as much as I wished I could have given. But then it hit me...
The grace that God offers us is such a beautiful thing. There is something so marvelous about how when we are at our lowest times, He is there to comfort us and bring our tired, weary selves right back to our feet. He knows our hearts. He knows our struggles. He knows our ambitions. There have been times where I have felt as though I had failed, but through simply reciting a portion of His Word, I felt replenished and reminded myself to keep on keeping on. It was simply a reminder to continue holding my Heavenly Father's hand through this walk of life. So, in 2018 I am going to constantly remind myself that things don't have to be "perfect" and not to use "perfection" as a way to measure if I have succeeded or not. I am going to stop doubting my decisions. As long as I'm doing the very best of my ability and walking with the Lord, I am going to trust things will work out in His perfect way.
So with all of this, I feel as though this year, I was truly learning what it meant to cherish the little things. My greatest joy in life is being the mama to my precious Madeline. This little girl stole my heart the second I laid eyes on her, and I continue to fall more and more in love with her each passing day. This year especially, I feel as though her personality has come to life. She is full of spunk, knows a little too much haha, and has the sweetest, most caring little heart. She is pure joy! The bond we share is so special, and I don't know what I would do without her. Her little smile, the things she comes out with, her sweet hugs and so much more are what keep me going. Everything I do is for her. This year especially, through the messiness of life, she has made it so very beautiful. She has made it special. She has made me realize that even though things may not be perfect, there is so much to smile about. What I look forward to most of all in 2018 and every year after that is having the privilege to be her mama, teaching her to walk with the Lord and continuing to cherish all of the joy she brings as she grows.
So as I said, this standstill feeling, as I felt I had hit this year, started to get to me. I think it's natural to say that we always look forward to the next big thing. We love to know when the next exciting event is going to happen! It's so funny how we can sit here and plan out how we'd like for our lives to play out. I'll pray continuously over what I hope for in life, and when it doesn't seem to be happening, I start to grow weary and feel a bit hopeless. There's that constant struggle of feeling like you need to have the next ten years of your life figured out right now! But I'm so thankful that I don't have to figure out how my life will go as I can trust both mine and Madeline's lives to the hands of our loving Savior, Jesus Christ. Because friends, I truly believe that his plan for our lives is exceedingly, abundantly more than all we could ask or think. I'm so very thankful that he knows the plans he has for us, plans to give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). And it is through this that I find so much comfort. But there's an overall lesson that I have come to realize through this season of standstill, not knowing what to do next, etc.
I was talking to my Mama about some of these things the other day. I was telling her about how I was planning this post and felt as if I had nothing to "report" about my year. I was explaining to her this standstill feeling. Y'all also know how much I love my Mama and cherish the bond we have. She is my go-to, my best friend. As she was listening to me and hearing all that I had to say, it came to me. I had been feeling this but it was until I was talking about it to my Mama that the words actually came out. Two words. Two words that have such a powerful meaning, "Be still." I told her that I truly feel as if the Lord is telling me to simply be still. In this season of life where I feel as though all I can do is keep on keeping on, not knowing what is going to come about next, I feel as though the Lord has placed these words on my heart. Through the overwhelming yet beautiful moments of life, he is saying to simply be still. And that right there is what I am to hold near to my heart.
And isn't is so amazing how the Lord lets little things to happen which allow us to see his hand at work? That makes things just seem...right? Just minutes after I had this conversation with my Mama and the words "be still" were so fresh on my mind, we started to sort through our church Christmas cards that we had yet to open and read. Each year, my church sends out a Christmas card list, and you can simply drop off your cards to be sorted out to each person/family. Well, going through the ones to myself and Madeline and these two words being placed on my heart, a card from one of our dear friends had Psalm 46:10 displayed on the front. Those very two words, "be still", were right there in front of me. Just realizing how much those words seemed so relevant to my life and then seeing them right there printed in front of me certainly brought tears to my eyes. I truly believe that wasn't a coincidence. And then the very next morning, I opened my Bible. And can you guess what portion of Scripture my Bible opened up to? If you guessed Psalm 46, then you guessed correctly. There was no bookmark placed on that page. It simply opened up to that. There were the words right there, "be still." Again, I don't believe that that simply happened by accident. I truly believe there is a much bigger explanation behind those two little instances that have permanently stamped Psalm 46 and the words "Be still" onto my heart for 2018.
So, I say all of this, because as I said before, if I can touch just one person's heart, then writing all of this out was totally worth it. If you're going though a time of life where you feel as if all you're doing is keeping on keeping on, keep up the good work! What happens next is not for us to stress over. We can't figure it all our right here, right now. As long as you're walking through life holding your Heavenly Father's hand, what seems like you're wearing a blindfold will soon become clear. Take it step by step holding his hand as he will provide just enough light for this current step. Give yourself grace and remember that you're doing a great job.
I also just want to say once again that I'm so very grateful for each and every one of you that continue to follow me on this journey and read my blog. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart! It seriously means the world to me.
I hope y'all have a wonderful last day of 2017. Madeline and I leave y'all with one last mommy and me look as we sparkle in the new year :) Overall, I'm thanking the Lord for an amazing 2017 and carrying us through each step of the way. There's so much to smile about and be thankful for. I'm excited to welcome in 2018. I have no idea what 2018 holds for both me and Madeline. But I know that I can trust it to the Lord, as I simply have to "be still."
"Be still, and know that I am God..."
~ Psalm 46:10 ~
Happy New Year, Friends!
Delightfully Yours,
